Memoir of a Drunk Driving Victim
by mu149
Summary: Andrew Jackson...  I blamed you. You took the world from me.I hated you so much.For living.So I planted this thought…  I was so cold, Andy.So lonely.You should come and keep me company.


Part 1

Andrew Jackson.

I didn't think.

All I could do was scream.

I blamed you.

My death

You took the world from me.

There was no way of me to know.

You would feel the effects of my words.

It was the night you dreamed of me.

But that night I had been to my parents' house.

To my house.

Into my room.

My mother was kneeling at the edge of my bed- crying.

I hated you so much.

For living.

So I planted this thought…

I was so cold, Andy.

So lonely.

You should come and keep me company.

It's ironic.

I wanted to fight for you to live.

I was obsessed with life.

Specifically yours.

You needed to be with me.

But…

There is no salvation.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Living<strong>_

It all started the day I was born…

Isn't that how these things usually start?

I want to break from the expected and go with something more original, though, so I hope you can pay attention…

What I should really say is that for me- it started when I met you.

Your real name was Andrew Jackson, but no one ever really calls you that- even the teachers- so you were always simply known as Andy. When I had first seen you, I had paid you no attention, because I had this new pick with a jewel in the handle and I had wanted to use it, so I had brought it to school and was picking out my hair.

And of course, here you come with that smart mouth of yours and guess what you say?

"Won't your sister get mad about you using her pick?"

At first, I didn't know what to do; no one had ever even thought about saying something like that to me. So I put my pick in my pocket and gave you the beating of your life. And as the laws of nature- or at least the laws of men- proclaimed, we were best friends the very next day.

At that time, it was just us and Tyrone.

B.J. wouldn't enter our group until high school, but by then, you and I were already like brothers.

But that's not why I'm writing this…

I won't bore you about the details of my life leading up to my ultimate demise brought on inevitably by my own doing, but I will rewind so you can understand the ignorance I must've had in life (and inexcusably in death) in order to not truly understand that what I was doing was wrong.

* * *

><p>The day before the basketball game at school, all the snow from the weekend had melted and everything looked ugly because there was no way of pretending it looked nice. There were no leaves on the trees and everything was all muddy from the freshly melted snow which led to that very mud being tracked along the sidewalk and into the school. Our old school building looked like it had been built during the Underground Railroad, but the brown and tall raggedly-looking building only matched the day perfectly.<p>

We were talking about nothing and eventually, it came to the topic of the gloomy day. Everything seemed to be like one of those cheesy B-rated films that my old man liked to watch all the time and like you was watching it through the box screen. So I took it upon myself to talk about "bottles of sunshine" that could brighten up any day and how they had been sitting on the shelves of the liquor store on 4th street just waiting to brighten up somebody's day.

Of course, I had meant the entire thing as a joke- just something to get a good laugh until the bell rang for us to get back to class- but you started going on about how you could get some for us and finally concluded that you would bring it to the game tomorrow.

I wanted to tell you that it was a joke, but at that moment, the bell rang and I just thought that it wouldn't matter anyway. By me going back on my word, I would give off an impression that I was not willing to have mess up my reputation. So I remained silent and went along with it when you finally brought the stuff the next day.

What I would give to take everything back.

* * *

><p><strong>Dying<strong>

That night was supposed to be just another night.

We had won by a landslide and were celebrating with some bottles of sunshine- as I had put it the day before when we were outside with the guys and Keisha. It was just supposed to be another night…

"Man did you see the looks on their face? They were totally mad!"

You were laughing as you downed the rest of your beer, "Aw man. You remember that killer three-pointer that Tyrone made during the first minute! Man those guys gave up after that dunk that Rob got off of me!"

"I never knew a black man could fly so high!" Tyrone laughed as he grabbed another beer and tossed one to you before tossing his hand towards B.J., "Hey man. Give me that thing. How am I supposed to open the beer?"

B.J. sighed before reluctantly handing the bottle opener over, "Don't you think you…."

The shortest of the group hesitated in his statement before releasing the small object, looking away from the questioning glances that were directed towards him. "Do we what?" I asked, starting on my second beer, having a light buzz by now that made him look funny around the edges.

"Nothin' man… shouldn't we be headed home? Andy don't you have that girl you wanted to see later tonight?"

I smirked lazily as I downed half of my bottle, "Oh yeah man… weren't you supposed to go meet Keisha…? After all, you were too busy watching her tonight in that tight skirt to even be bothering about paying attention to attempting to score. How many points did you get tonight? Two? Four?

"Stop playing; you know it was six! And it doesn't matter. You're the one with the scouts after them, not me. So shouldn't you be the one clowning for the crowd?"

"For your information, I got four times as many shots as you! What about that thing you were talking about earlier… how did you say it," I quizzed while taking another sip of my beer, "Something like 'Didja see _my_ Keisha up in the stands?"

I stood up to accent those googly eyes of yours, while climbing on the hood of your car, "'She had on this short, butt-showing skirt-"

"It was butt-hugging you idiot!" you had shouted, grabbing for me, "And get off of my car!"

"But Andini!" I gasp in mock surprise, "Didja see her? Didja really? She did a whole lotta shakin'!"

I ducked when you threw your beer at me and slipped off the hood and onto B.J., "Watch it! You made me fall on B.J."

Tyrone rolled his eyes before laughing, "Yeah and you know he can't afford to lose any more height!"

B.J. smiled good-naturedly, but I could tell that the comment had stung him, so I cuffed Tyrone on the back of his head, "What you trying to say? That you can lose a few inches and still be golden?"

He swore under his breath, but kept his mouth otherwise shut. "Hey! You keep hitting things and you'll be walking home!" you added, downing another beer before tossing it across the parking lot and pulling your keys out, "Come on! I want to see Keisha before the night's over! Get in!"

* * *

><p>I was in eternal bliss.<p>

With the alcohol in my system and the light posts that lined the streets running parallel to the highway, everything seemed to be shining. I heard the bubbling sound off you and Tyrone's laughter as I chugged down our last bottle of beer- which now officially looked like sunshine in a bottle with the yellow lights reflecting of the empty brown glass- and tossed it out the window. A car honked at us, which seemed hilarious at the time and set us all into a fit of laughter that even B.J. entered. After that last bottle, the world started to shift and I swayed from side to side with the orbit of the planet, cracking up even more as I heard more horns blaring persistently all around us. Tyrone said something in the back, but I only nodded my head in agreement, not really understanding the words that he had said before pulling my legs up onto the dashboard, feeling the insistent burning from them being cramped in your car.

"Yo man! Your car is too small!"

More laughter filled up the car as the world continued to light up and I let out my own, which now seemed uncontrollable. In fact, I had no idea what it was that was so funny or what we were laughing at in the first place, but it was almost impossible to stop laughing. Everything was becoming almost unbearably bright as I ignored all other thoughts of common sense because at that moment, my conscious was nothing but a soft ringing in the back of my head. But then, as if life had almost stopped… time slowed down.

I glanced to the side at you; you were laughing at some car next to us with a white couple in it, pointing at Tyrone who was behind him while B.J. seemed worried slightly but smiled good-heartedly all the same. I turned back to the window glaring at the lamp post that looked like it was riding along side of us, covering the entire world in a thick orange light that dripped around me thickly like molasses.

And then, I looked forward…

Before us was a mountain of stone that looked larger than the big skyscrapers in the city and we were hurdling towards it faster than I could comprehend.

Within the blink of an eye, time went on fast-forward and I was flying forward, my legs screaming in protest as my body continued through the windshield while the front of the car collapsed on itself, forcing the car to stop. My head hit the roof of the car and I fell back, drowning in the abnormal darkness that surrounded me.

* * *

><p>Despite what most people think, when you lose consciousness, it's not peaceful and it's not dark- nor quiet. I could hear all this noise that was accented by different shades and intensity of colors. I could feel the smoke thick in my lungs and could feel the unbearable feeling that crawled up my legs, which I was sure was covered in cuts and bruises from the glass.<p>

By then, I was able to hear voices and noticed them as you guys which signaled a feeling of relief to wash over me. At first when I had lost consciousness, it was like I was still awake- just outside of my body. I could feel the foreboding that chocked the entire surrounding area as the car continued to run its engine ominously- as it was lying against the wall. It was a surprise to me that it was still alive after that impact, but before I could linger on the thought, I was dragged back to my body with that falling sensation that some people get sometimes in their dreams. The one where you are falling off of something and moments before they reach the ground they woke up; however this time- unlike so many other dreams- I didn't wake up from a dream, but instead felt the undenying pain in my chest as my lungs contorted with the lack of oxygen and I took in a mouth full of air, releasing it in a bloodcurdling scream. I couldn't see- blinded by something that I was unable to describe, but knowing all the while that it was nothing to worry about- screaming for anything; for anyone.

Whatever I screamed wasn't words, but sounds. I'm not sure what I sounded like- and I figure I may never know- but I wanted to get across that I needed out of whatever was trapping me. I screamed louder, trying to move from the thing that clutched me tightly and kept me rooted to the spot.

And then… I heard this… noise.

At first, it sounded like a loud thump or something, but then it resounded again and again, each time getting louder until I recognized it. It sounded like an explosion. Like when you'd see old movies of wars or something, the sound would be muffled and resounding over and over again until it got louder and the entire car shook with a force that I was sure you and B.J. (who had been trying to get me out by kicking in the windshield) had been knocked off from the car. With that unmistakable force came an indescribable inferno.

The heat was unbearable and tore at me with unmerciful skill. It was like I had done something to the flames to make them hate me and the pain was so unbearable that it was like a white flame had erupted from every part of me. I moved around, whipping manically- pulling, tugging, kicking, trying to move, to get away and then I opened my mouth and begged to be saved, "Andy! Andy, help me! Please don't let me die like this Andy!"

I screamed for you because I knew you would come!

I knew you had to come!

You were my best friend

Andini

You had to come for me

You wouldn't just let me die

….Would you…?

The fire continued to devour me in pain as I called out for my only savior. Over time, that was no longer possible as I slowly lost use of my limbs until I couldn't even move to escape the flames. I still felt the pain that carved itself deep into my soul, undeniably staining it with its impurities, and I wanted to vanquish them all- but then I saw you through the flames.

Tyrone and B.J. were holding onto you while you stared back at me, wide-eyed with your eyes expressing some emotion that I couldn't understand…

_Why was it… ?_

And then, I was torn from my body.

I'd never thought dying was supposed to be so painful. It was just you stopped breathing and then you went to heaven right?

But I could _feel_ myself being torn out of my body as if someone was trying to tear my skin off of my skeleton, one inch at a time. It was like tearing off a band aid. I was being pulled off so slowly that the pain was unbearable and would've been considerably less if I was just separated instantly. Finally, I felt my last strand tear and I let out a scream that resounded within my head, but did not make a sound… did not escape my mouth.

I was dead.

* * *

><p><strong>This is the first part of a three part short story about the book Tears of a Tiger in Robert's Point of View. Just was kinda curious on how he would've looked upon the series of events that took place in the book. Let me know what you guys think.<strong>


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